Posted by Victoria Trabosh on Mon, Jul 05, 2010 @ 01:44 PM
Did you ever as a teenager have a job that changed your life? A job, that as look back on it was like a great teacher in high school, and realize you’re better for having gone through the experience? McDonald's was that teacher and recently taught me another lesson.
Lesson #1 - 1973
I turned 16 and applied for my dream job – a counter person at McDonald's on State Street in Ft. Wayne Indiana. I got the job and after two weeks of doing a GREAT job, turned in my resignation. I was used to receiving praise for a job well done (thanks Mom and Dad). But our McDonald's was very busy – huge crews, great camaraderie – but not a lot of one on one with the managers. And I was certainly (by my estimation) not appreciated for my hard work. Huge disappointment. And quitting seemed to be the solution.
When I told my manager Sobi I was quitting he said, “Why are you leaving?” I said, “No one has told me that I’m doing a great job.” He gave me a deadpan look and said, “Let’s go clean LOT AND LOBBY” ehh. Back then, we had 3 sayings:
- If you’ve got time to gripe, you’ve got time to wipe.
- If you’ve got time to lean you’ve got time to clean.
- Double folding is our bag. (if that’s a bit harder to understand – go get a meal and see if your bag is double folded….I fear it may not be….)
Clearly Sobi was engaging in #1 and #2 of our sayings. No standing around at our McDonalds! As we began to pick up trash in the lot, he said, “Do you think you’re doing a good job?” “I do!” I responded. He looked at me and said, “Vicky, if you spend your whole life waiting for people to tell you that you’ve done a good job you’re not going to get very far in the world. Sometimes people are too busy or they don’t want to tell you. If you let that stop you, that will be your fault, not theirs.”
I seriously took that to heart and realized I could become someone through hard work or wait to become someone because someone else said I was good enough. I’ve opted for knowing myself more than waiting for another to tell me. I’ve also learned to tell others when they’ve done a terrific job.
I stayed at McDonald's and saved enough to go to Purdue in January 1976. I was part of the All American Team. I was a Swing Shift supervisor. And I took everything good from the company that was offered.
I’ve never lost my taste for McDonalds – literally and figuratively. And yes, I know that fat content is high….but did you know a little fat makes for a shiny coat??!
Though I never worked at McDonald's again, I’ve eaten there regularly over the years. Secretly “shopped” the store and looked critically at what was happening (I still do this!) Fretted about the bad reputation they’ve acquired over different issues, watched Supersize Me in horror, and from time to time sworn off their delicious but fatty food. I bought and retain my McDonald's stock. STILL wear my Ronald McDonald watch that I won in 1977, have all my original plush characters, and generally support them.
As I travel the world, I always find the local McDonald's from Australia to Italy to Russia to Israel.
You now know it’s dear to my heart. And my psyche. In the last couple of weeks my faith was shaken in this great organization but it has been restored. More soon.
Posted by Victoria Trabosh on Wed, Apr 28, 2010 @ 12:32 PM
We're at the Jersey shore with for the week with our daughter and son in law. They rented a beautiful house on the beach - amazing views, fresh air, and a great boardwalk. The entire boardwalk is about 2.5 miles -perfect for a walk to get in my daily, much needed exercise.
My goal is to walk a 4 mph pace. And walk for 1 hour. Yesterday I set out and was determined to reach my goal. No problem. One hour later, I'd covered four miles. This morning, I set out to do it again. It was early, the beach is beautiful and empty this time of year. It was just me, my IPOD, and a desire to complete four miles in 60 minutes.
I'm focused. I'm going to get this done. I'm listening to Les Brown on the IPOD - ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE! And when I get back to our beach house I go to the kitchen and as I'm drinking some water I stare out the window at this incredible view. And I realize during the entire four miles, my eyes were on the boardwalk, on the steps in front of me, and I missed the entire view of the ocean.
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More than surprised, I saw that I often am staring at the place just a couple of feet in front of me - missing the bigger picture. How could I be staring at an old boardwalk when the ocean is crashing on the shore and showing me its magnificence and beauty?? (Pretty easily it seems!) And certainly the greater message for me was that the boardwalk v. the ocean is just the metaphor of my life's focus.
Both views were continuously available. And the one that kept my attention was at my own feet. What am I learning?
- This boardwalk is old!
- Many boards have worn out and need to be replaced
- One area of the boardwalk looks exactly like another
- If I just look down at my feet, I have no orientation of where I am from the view
- It's flat and after a couple of miles, boring
- Looking at the boardwalk boards, I could be anywhere in the world
When I look UP, what do I see?
- Interesting shops, all closed until the memorial day weekend
- Buildings and homes that are for rent, but currently empty
- A few people running or walking who for the most part are looking at THEIR feet!
- A magnificent ocean with more wonder and mystery than I will ever comprehend.
- A beautiful sky with screeching birds who happily circle for no reason that is apparent to me
- How very small I am in the world, but I am here
- I can see my goal of where I'm headed (to the end of the boardwalk) and exactly where my goal lies in relation to where I am in my walk
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Looking down does not serve me! It gives me no perspective! And it's fairly boring. After this revelation, I looked up today. What a difference. And my walk of an hour went faster than the last time I walked yesterday.
Look up - face your goals. Whether it's two miles ahead of you, a goal of making the client call today, or something greater - a larger goal that will take many steps - many days - many moving parts. Imagine what happens when you clearly look at your goal - not just stare at your feet plodding along knowing you'll reach it soon.
Enjoy the journey - but notice where you're gazing. See you on the boardwalk!
Posted by Victoria Trabosh on Mon, Feb 08, 2010 @ 02:23 AM
Do you ever wonder where you'll be five years from now? Wonder what life holds (good and bad) and if you could possibly truly imagine what it will be like?
The first time I was on my way to Rwanda in 2005 I journaled. I knew I'd be doing more as I flew home from that first trip -but never did I imagine that less than five years later I'd begin my 7th trip. I SAID in those first journal entries I knew I could do more. And while more was done, the "I" became a "we".
The time between my Women of Rwanda for World Vision event in May 2005 and my trip three weeks later in June 2005 was a world wind. After our successful event, I met within the week with two women who had heard me speak and asked if I'd consider holding a similar fundraiser when I returned.
"We'll see" I said. And see we did. That June in Rwanda, I was struck by the resilience of a people who had suffered greatly yet often were sincerely grateful for every opportunity presented to them.
The joy I felt, the acceptance and the responsibility to do what I could to help, was never a burden. It was an honor. And in these last five years, my enthusiasm has not wavered. My fierce belief in the strength of the human spirit is not lessened.
And with those two women, Karen Freelander and Bethe McChesney (and their spouses who supported them) we dared to dream that we could raise $50,000. And from that dream the Itafari Foundation was born. Now thousands more have joined us. We have raised over $350,000 and changed lives as our lives have changed through this work.
John, my husband has been my greatest supporter - my confidant, my engineer on projects in Rwanda, the voice of reason during my most unreasonable time. My most favorite traveling companion to Rwanda. No one waits more anxiously for me to return -no one more willing to step aside and let me be "Madam Itafari". He truly is the wind beneath my wings. Without him I am a grounded bird - (think platypus!)
My friendships in Rwanda are some of the sweetest of my life. I think it is the depth of character of these friends, our shared passion, their knowledge that I and Itafari are truly about Rwanda and what they want and need.
The women in Rwanda are magnificent. They know they have no time to play small - the stakes are too high -the needs too great. And someday, when their lives are over, while there might be regrets of what they couldn't do, what they did was more than most women in the US that I know could even dream of doing. It is a gift that I never would have dreamed of - that these women would become my friends and that the color of our skin would not be a distraction. And together our shared dreams, fears, doubts, and hopes could create something we never could have imagined creating apart.
The men in Rwanda with whom I work, partner, laugh and share lifelong friendships are equally as impressive. I am amazed at how hard everyone in Rwanda works. And no one with whom I work, from leaders in government to the poorest of microloan recipients is waiting to have someone else make a difference in their lives. They are determined to do it - and to be even a small part of their dreams is humbling and daunting (a good day for a friend and coach!)
The children of Rwanda have made me value my kids and grandkids even more. I see in my grandchildren only possibility. I don't know what they will do in their lives - but I believe they will live with great compassion and purpose.
My sons were forced to endure me and my ideas from the time I met them in 1980. Sometimes I would pack the holiday table with so many clients (from my days as a conservator/guardian for seniors) they would look at me - roll their eyes, and then be incredibly kind because I asked them to be. And my daughter Tara? I couldn't ask for a more loving daughter. We met when she was 17 and I was 23 - can you imagine?! How do you thank people in your life who let you just be you? In my case, it's by loving them every day and never forgetting the gift they gave, and continue to give to me of their support and love.
All of this comes to mind on my 7th journey to Rwanda. This 2nd leg, Newark to Brussels has such context of its greater purpose. I love the adventure of travel. Only anger and unkindness ruffle my feathers. Delays, cramped quarters, solving the impossible, tiredness, etc., are just signs I'm out of my comfort zone. And when did being in my comfort zone ever feel so comfortable to me?
I thank God for this crazy life I lead. I'm not pulled in a thousand directions, but I'm swept along in the directions I choose to go. It's a wonderful life - full of trials and tribulations, exceeded expectations and lost opportunities. Lessons, love and laughter. Works for me.
And from all of that comes a huge amount of accomplishment and satisfaction. It is about a life well lived - one of success and significance. And each of us get to define what those terms mean in our own lives.
If you know me well, you know I challenge you to keep your eyes on your own paper - to do NOW what you want to do. Build and sail that ship at the same time!!! (Beats sitting on an island waiting for someone to rescue you.)
Less self indulgent reading can be found on the Itafari website - it's good work - join us if you can. But most importantly, run with your dreams. If you need a rudder for the journey, coaching could be for you-I can provide it or give you some referrals. But most importantly, never give up. You matter, your dreams matter, and you can create something that will take your breath away.
Bon Voyage, and safe travels.
Posted by Victoria Trabosh on Sun, Dec 27, 2009 @ 02:30 PM
My work in Rwanda has changed my life. The Itafari Foundation and its work are a
gift and a challenge.
My perspective on
what is possible, the true meaning of the strength of the human spirit, my understanding
of inhumanity and its consequences: these ideas are no longer esoteric. (Though I still know so little). But I also clearly know that if we choose to
step out, before we are “ready”, we can accomplish the extraordinary.
This morning in the New York Times Magazine, the profiles
were the stories of people who died in 2009 who changed the world in one way or
another. I was reading about the passing
of Alison Des Forges in February 2009 as written by Elizabeth Rubin.
In the 1980’s Des Forges joined Africa Watch and was one of the first to warn
of the coming cataclysm in Rwanda. Her
personal friends died in Rwanda during the 1994 genocide. While she tried to warn the U.S., the Europeans,
and the U.N., her voice was faint in warning in comparison to the world’s
conversation that the genocide was an African problem. She must have suffered deeply knowing she was
unable to force a world to turn and look upon its rwandan brothers and sisters.
After the genocide she continued her work in Rwanda. When the International Criminal Tribunal for
Rwanda was established, she traveled back and forth to the court in Arusha,
Tanzania to serve as an expert witness and strategist for the prosecutors. A five foot lion of a woman. And one of whom I had not heard except in
context to her book Leave None to Tell
the Story: Genocide in Rwanda –
Human Rights Watch et FIDH – 1999 – ISBN 1-56432-171-1.
Her comments were equally critical of all sides,
including the Rwandan Patriotic Front which overthrew the genocidal leaders and
went on to establish a stronger more peaceful country. Her criticism lead to her twice being refused
entrance into the country. I understand the
reasons by the Rwandan government and yet know that the result of her work has
helped Rwanda in the long run.
The same can be said of the movie Hotel Rwanda. It turned out (sadly) that Paul Rusesabagina was
not the man portrayed in the movie, yet the movie led to a great awareness of
the genocide. The movie allowed all of
us to look back on the horror that was partially created through our lack of
action. And because of that, I have no
criticism of the portrayal at the time.
So I do what I know I must do. Take the best, and leave the rest. Des Forges was not perfect. The movie was unknowingly flawed in its
portrayal of an ordinary man. Yet, we
cannot ignore what comes from extraordinary efforts to change the world.
Instead of dismissing someone or something in its
entirety, we should continue to have conversation. Enlighten those who are in the dark. Thank those who take a lonely stand. Be thoughtful in our approach to what is
foreign to us. And know we must never
give up on what we are most passionate about.
We must never believe that we can’t make a difference. That it’s too hard. That no
one cares.
That no one cares. Impossible in its logic. If you care, that is enough.
I enter 2010 with a renewed sense of what is
possible. 2009 was a very tough
year. I was unable to go to my beloved
Rwanda. Yet our work continued unabated
through the Itafari Foundation. Good and
compassionate people stepped up to make a difference. I am also blessed to call some of some of the
finest people I have ever known my friends, though they live 10,000 miles from
me.
Happy New Year. Be renewed.
Set impossibly high goals – and then work (not hope) to reach them. Can you imagine what the new year can bring? I can.
It will bring the extraordinary – and it will be accomplished by you and
me.