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I'm on my way to Rwanda - where are you headed ?

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Do you ever wonder where you'll be five years from now?  Wonder what life holds (good and bad) and if you could possibly truly imagine what it will be like?

The first time I was on my way to Rwanda in 2005 I journaled.   I knew I'd be doing more as I flew home from that first trip -but never did I imagine that less than five years later I'd begin my 7^th trip.  I SAID in those first journal entries I knew I could do more.  And while more was done, the "I" became a "we".

The time between my Women of Rwanda for World Vision event in May 2005 and my trip three weeks later in June 2005 was a world wind.  After our successful event, I met within the week with two women who had heard me speak and asked if I'd consider holding a similar fundraiser when I returned.

"We'll see" I said.  And see we did.  That June in Rwanda, I was struck by the resilience of a people who had suffered greatly yet often were sincerely grateful for every opportunity presented to them.   

The joy I felt, the acceptance and the responsibility to do what I could to help, was never a burden.  It was an honor.  And in these last five years, my enthusiasm has not wavered.  My fierce belief in the strength of the human spirit is not lessened. 

And with those two women, Karen Freelander and Bethe McChesney (and their spouses who supported them) we dared to dream that we could raise $50,000. And from that dream the Itafari Foundation was born.  Now thousands more have joined us.  We have raised over $350,000 and changed lives as our lives have changed through this work. 

John, my husband has been my greatest supporter - my confidant, my engineer on projects in Rwanda, the voice of reason during my most unreasonable time.  My most favorite traveling companion to Rwanda.  No one waits more anxiously for me to return -no one more willing to step aside and let me be "Madam Itafari".  He truly is the wind beneath my wings.  Without him I am a grounded bird - (think platypus!)

My friendships in Rwanda are some of the sweetest of my life.  I think it is the depth of character of these friends, our shared passion, their knowledge that I and Itafari are truly about Rwanda and what they want and need.

The women in Rwanda are magnificent.  They know they have no time to play small - the stakes are too high -the needs too great.  And someday, when their lives are over, while there might be regrets of what they couldn't do, what they did was more than most women in the US that I know could even dream of doing.  It is a gift that I never would have dreamed of - that these women would become my friends and that the color of our skin would not be a distraction.  And together our shared dreams, fears, doubts, and hopes could create something we never could have imagined creating apart. 

The men in Rwanda with whom I work, partner, laugh and share lifelong friendships are equally as impressive.  I am amazed at how hard everyone in Rwanda works.  And no one with whom I work, from leaders in government to the poorest of microloan recipients is waiting to have someone else make a difference in their lives.  They are determined to do it - and to be even a small part of their dreams is humbling and daunting (a good day for a friend and coach!)

The children of Rwanda have made me value my kids and grandkids even more.  I see in my grandchildren only possibility.  I don't know what they will do in their lives - but I believe they will live with great compassion and purpose. 

My sons were forced to endure me and my ideas from the time I met them in 1980.  Sometimes I would pack the holiday table with so many clients (from my days as a conservator/guardian for seniors) they would look at me - roll their eyes, and then be incredibly kind because I asked them to be.  And my daughter Tara?   I couldn't ask for a more loving daughter. We met when she was 17 and I was 23 - can you imagine?!   How do you thank people in your life who let you just be you?  In my case, it's by loving them every day and never forgetting the gift they gave, and continue to give to me of their support and love.  

All of this comes to mind on my 7^th journey to Rwanda.  This 2^nd leg, Newark to Brussels has such context of its greater purpose.  I love the adventure of travel.   Only anger and unkindness ruffle my feathers.  Delays, cramped quarters, solving the impossible, tiredness, etc., are just signs I'm out of my comfort zone.  And when did being in my comfort zone ever feel so comfortable to me? 

I thank God for this crazy life I lead.  I'm not pulled in a thousand directions, but I'm swept along in the directions I choose to go.  It's a wonderful life - full of trials and tribulations, exceeded expectations and lost opportunities.  Lessons, love and laughter.  Works for me. 

And from all of that comes a huge amount of accomplishment and satisfaction.  It is about a life well lived - one of success and significance.  And each of us get to define what those terms mean in our own lives.    

If you know me well, you know I challenge you to keep your eyes on your own paper - to do NOW what you want to do.  Build and sail that ship at the same time!!!  (Beats sitting on an island waiting for someone to rescue you.) 

Less self indulgent reading can be found on the Itafari website - it's good work - join us if you can.  But most importantly, run with your dreams.  If you need a rudder for the journey, coaching could be for you-I can provide it or give you some referrals.  But most importantly, never give up.  You matter, your dreams matter, and you can create something that will take your breath away.

Bon Voyage, and safe travels.

Accomplish the Extraordinary - will it be you?

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My work in Rwanda has changed my life.   The Itafari Foundation and its work are a gift and a challenge. 

 My perspective on what is possible, the true meaning of the strength of the human spirit, my understanding of inhumanity and its consequences:   these ideas are no longer esoteric.  (Though I still know so little).  But I also clearly know that if we choose to step out, before we are “ready”, we can accomplish the extraordinary.

This morning in the New York Times Magazine, the profiles were the stories of people who died in 2009 who changed the world in one way or another.  I was reading about the passing of Alison Des Forges in February 2009 as written by Elizabeth Rubin. 

In the 1980’s  Des Forges joined Africa Watch and was one of the first to warn of the coming cataclysm in Rwanda.  Her personal friends died in Rwanda during the 1994 genocide.  While she tried to warn the U.S., the Europeans, and the U.N., her voice was faint in warning in comparison to the world’s conversation that the genocide was an African problem.   She must have suffered deeply knowing she was unable to force a world to turn and look upon its rwandan brothers and sisters. 

After the genocide she continued her work in Rwanda.  When the International Criminal Tribunal for Rwanda was established, she traveled back and forth to the court in Arusha, Tanzania to serve as an expert witness and strategist for the prosecutors.  A five foot lion of a woman.  And one of whom I had not heard except in context to her book Leave None to Tell the Story:  Genocide in Rwanda – Human Rights Watch et FIDH – 1999 – ISBN 1-56432-171-1.

Her comments were equally critical of all sides, including the Rwandan Patriotic Front which overthrew the genocidal leaders and went on to establish a stronger more peaceful country.  Her criticism lead to her twice being refused entrance into the country.  I understand the reasons by the Rwandan government and yet know that the result of her work has helped Rwanda in the long run. 

The same can be said of the movie Hotel Rwanda.  It turned out (sadly) that Paul Rusesabagina was not the man portrayed in the movie, yet the movie led to a great awareness of the genocide.  The movie allowed all of us to look back on the horror that was partially created through our lack of action.  And because of that, I have no criticism of the portrayal at the time. 

So I do what I know I must do.  Take the best, and leave the rest.  Des Forges was not perfect.  The movie was unknowingly flawed in its portrayal of an ordinary man.  Yet, we cannot ignore what comes from extraordinary efforts to change the world. 

Instead of dismissing someone or something in its entirety, we should continue to have conversation.  Enlighten those who are in the dark.  Thank those who take a lonely stand.  Be thoughtful in our approach to what is foreign to us.  And know we must never give up on what we are most passionate about.  We must never believe that we can’t make a difference.  That it’s too hard.  That no one cares. 

That no one cares.  Impossible in its logic.  If you care, that is enough.

I enter 2010 with a renewed sense of what is possible.  2009 was a very tough year.  I was unable to go to my beloved Rwanda.   Yet our work continued unabated through the Itafari Foundation.  Good and compassionate people stepped up to make a difference.  I am also blessed to call some of some of the finest people I have ever known my friends, though they live 10,000 miles from me. 

The Day Before the Day Before Christmas

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No, I cannot tell you what came over me.  But I can tell you I was scrolling through Twitter this morning and contemplating a Starbucks non fat peppermint latte and began to write a poem on twitter.  I still don’t know why – except that it amused me.  And 14 tweets later (at < 140 characters each) I composed the following. 

It’s not all work – every day.  Sometimes, it’s just about a little joy.  Merry Christmas to all – and may your holidays be merry and bright!  (BONUS:  John enjoyed poem as I was composing and tweeting from bed so much he went out and got my nonfat peppermint latte!) 

The Day Before the Day Before Christmas by @vhtrabosh 

It was the day before the day before Christmas and all through the home - it was time to start stirring- now where is my comb?

The stockings were hung, my gifts mostly wrapped. Does John need a leather jacket?! No, he'll say 'take it back!'

The cats are still sleeping, I've got a lot to do. But first I think I need a Starbucks non fat peppermint latte (wouldn't you?)

So off I head in my car, John still asleep, I see the strangest thing and shout "what the bleep?!"

There's Santa in the ditch, his sleigh upside down. No one's even stopping! No reindeers around!

I pull on over "Santa, why so blue?" He glances sadly at me, and says "oh, @vhtrabosh, it's you"

"Do you notice no one tweets of me? That Santa's not topic hot? No one remembers I come back every year whether they speak of me or not?!"

As an executive coach I knew right away-Santa's having a crisis of confidence-so what do I say?

"Santa, not everyone remembers to thank those who do good - to tweet about happiness and joy as they should"

"Christmas Eve is tomorrow- there's still time to spare. So quit feelin' sorry for yourself and get up in the air!"

As magic would have it, the reindeer appeared! They righted the sleigh, Santa combed out his beard!

He looked at me fondly-said, "you're just the best- here's a Starbucks gift card- thanks for letting me get that off my chest!"

As I watched him take off I knew he'd be fine, but it's important to tweet about him at Christmas time.

I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight: "Happy Tweetmas to all - it's gonna be alright!"

Is it cold enough for you? (definitely - if you're homeless)

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And yes, it was cold enough for me too. 

This past weekend I worked at the Itafari Booth at the Lake Oswego European Market selling the baskets of Rwanda.  From 9-4 on Saturday and 12-4 on Sunday, I stood in our little booth and talked about the amazing women of Rwanda.  The amazing resiliency of the Rwandan people.   What an amazing gift of $25 for a goat can be for a child headed household.  The amazing difference that can be made with such small amounts of money when applied in thoughtful ways.  And how damn (for those of you that don’t swear, that’s a coaching expression!) cold it was.

And it was cold.  We were in a tent but the bottom of the tent left about a foot gap.  Saturday, the temperature began around 31°F and over the course of the day reached 42°F.  Though the tent had this gaping hole, the sun came out; there was no wind in the morning and a slight wind in the afternoon from the NNE of 8 mph.  That evening I went to event and by the time I headed home at 10pm the temperature was back down to 37° and the wind was still gusty at 7 mph. (felt like 26°F) COLD.  But I was bundled up and could hurry to my car and then to my warm home.

Yesterday John and I arrived at the booth at 8:45am to a much harsher situation.  34°F with winds from the ENE at 16mph.  (wind chill made it feel like 24°F)   The wind was picking up our side of the tent and then slamming it back down.  John secured it as best he could and then we went out for a hot breakfast with our friends from Seattle – returning at noon. 

The sun came out but the wind continued to blow.  Shoppers hurried by our booth, everyone looked and felt COLD.  We were all remarking about the weather.  A bit too cold for the European festival we wanted.  And the coldness came through my underclothes, by sweater, my coat, my gloves, my hat, my socks, and my boots.  And all I could think about was the homeless in Portland.  Who were experiencing the same weather, without ANY of the comforts I know. 

Maybe a blanket, maybe a coat, hopefully a hot meal; but for many, another night on the street.  I really can’t imagine being in the weather that we’re experiencing and being much colder than I was yesterday -  ALL day -  with no relief.

So I’ll do something about it.  I’ll do what I can which is give a donation to the Portland Rescue Mission who every day choose to help our homeless.  I care not for your opinion on how they got there, if they deserve it, and if they could do more to help themselves.  That’s not the point of my point.  My point is that I want to help the homeless be warm. 

Today is colder than yesterday.  It’s 23°F with a wind chill that makes it feel like 9°.  So doing what I can is what I must do. 

Take an opportunity to complete your charitable giving this week.  Charities are really hurting this year.  I know.  The Itafari Foundation has received considerably fewer contributions – and we’re not alone. 

You are welcome to give to us:  Itafari Foundation.  If you’re giving needs to be more local, consider Portland Rescue Mission.  If you’re outside of Portland, who in your community could use some help?  With whom do you resonate?  What causes are dear to your heart?  Now is the time.

Give a gift.  Make a difference.  And bundle up:  it’s cold out there.

What a Soldier Gives

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Four soldiers.  Three I know well.  One I haven’t met, yet.  They cover WWII, end of the Korean War, peacetime for the United States in 1987 and now, the Iraq war.

 My father, my husband, my son, a soldier in Iraq.

Yesterday, November 21, 2009 would have been the 86th birthday of my father. Yesterday, my husband went with me to buy items to put in a care box that we would send to Iraq.  Yesterday, I called my son and apologized for not sending him more care boxes to remind him of how much we loved and missed him during his three years of service away from home.  Yesterday, I baked in earnest and worried about the tastiest of the cookies I would be sending to a soldier serving in Iraq that is a stranger to me.  

 Soldier  #1

 My father gloried war.  His time in the Army during WWII was truly the highlight of his life.  He suffered from diabetes in his later years which blinded him.  He did an oral history of his entire life which became a family book.  In it, he devoted 25% of the book to his time growing up in New York, less than 1% to his family, his children and his marriages of 45+ years, and about 74% to his time in the service.  When he proudly handed me the book, I began to read it and exclaimed to him, “Are you kidding me???  A few paragraphs to Mom and your three children???”  Slightly embarrassed he took it back and added a few more lines.  His life history was more defined by his time in the service than anything else that ever happened to him.

 Soldier #2

 In 1957, my husband enlisted in the Marines.  Meeting him in 1980 gave me a totally different perspective on what it meant to serve in the armed forces.  The few.  The proud.  The Marines.  While my Dad loved to talk about being a soldier and killing and patriotism, John’s ability to serve and the way he discussed it have always been more about the duty and respect he had for doing his job well, rather than glorifying himself or war.  His life is defined by a lifetime of experiences, including his military service. 

 Soldier #3

 In 1986 my son (step) fulfilled his dream to join the Army with the intention of joining the military police and eventually becoming a police officer.   He was at Ft. Benning in Georgia.  We missed him like crazy and I had every intention of sending him boxes and boxes of cookies, favorite foods, silly remembrances and lots of letters to remind him of how he was loved.  And though he was deeply missed and loved by us, you wouldn’t have known it by my expressions through the U.S. Mail Service.  Some letters, a couple of boxes, but pathetically less than my most noble of intentions.  His military experience shaped his life as well and began his journey to work in law enforcement.

He called me once from basic training to talk about a man who came to talk with them.   This man wrote a book called “What a Soldier Gives”.  Tim insisted I read this book and he sent it to me.  The story was of this man’s journey in the army during the height of the Vietnam War.  What a soldier gave during the conflict.  It was unflinching in its honesty and did not glorify war.  But the dignity of what this man had given, at great personal cost, was evident.  I was so moved, I wrote to the author, told him the impression he’d made on my son.  And thanked him for his service.  His story and his wisdom stayed with me.

 Soldier #4

 And so yesterday I baked cookies for a young man or woman who may not have anyone sending them anything through the holidays.  My investment club of 20+ years has decided to support some soldiers through one of the member’s connections.  Her nephew’s company in Iraq has soldiers in it that for whatever reason, receive very little from family back home.  So we’re “adopting” some of them for the holidays. 

 We received a list of items they need – from beef jerky to Tylenol,  from socks to Q-tips.  And of course goodies.  Nothing says home like home baked goodies! 

 John and I were shopping yesterday, and while I was baking I remembered it was my Dad’s birthday.  I called Tim to tell him what we were doing.  And to apologize for not being there for him in a way that would leave me with no regretful thoughts.  He was gracious and happy we were doing something for another soldier.  But I did tell him he was one of the reasons I felt compelled to help.  That he deserved more then when he as a soldier, and that if I could pay it forward, I needed to. 

 What a soldier gives.  None of this has to do with my personal feelings about the conflicts our country is currently involved in.  It’s about remembering someone far far from home that needs to know they are not alone.  That what a soldier gives, is not wasted or forgotten.  And we need to bring them home alive and well. 

 If you have the opportunity, give back.  Support someone you love.  Support a stranger in honor of those you love. And know that what a solider gives can be honored by what you do – even if their individual service is long past. 

 With luck and good packing, our Christmas boxes will arrive intact.  The cookies will not have crumbled.  And a soldier will feel a little closer to home.

CEO Space: How can I help you today?

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Finding hope and inspiration on a daily basis can be difficult even for the most optimistic of entrepreneurs.  We will be told no more often than yes in an environment when it appears easier to focus on the negative rather than the positive in our economy and society.  I recently had an experience that renewed my faith in my journey – my vision.  And it took place in a positive and productive environment in Henderson NV.

I had the great fortune of attending CEO Space a week ago.  You’re not alone if you’ve never heard of it.  CEO Space  is an organization focused on bringing together individuals who choose to cooperate rather than compete.  Who choose to learn rather than denounce.  Who choose to make a difference in the world through collaboration rather than go it alone.

I went to CEO Space for a number of reasons:  ◊ recharge my battery, i.e., get inspired; ◊ learn new business ideas and techniques in a supercharged learning environment; ◊ raise awareness and get financial and intellectual support for the Itafari Foundation; ◊ expand my network both nationally and internationally; ◊ acquire more speaking engagements; ◊ help others become their best; ◊ recharge my battery, i.e., get inspired (yes, I mention it twice because I really needed it!)

I now know my goals were limited.  I did not see the bigger picture of what was possible.  Now I’m seeing that CEO Space provided me with practical tools and contacts that increased my horizon of what I can accomplish.  (While accomplishing all of the initial goals I identified above).

CEO Space is a supercharged learning environment – a CEO level educational retreat; a CEO-to-CEO trade show; a university affiliated program, a place to connect with investors who will invest in your business or dream.  Endorsed by Jack Canfield, Bob Proctor, Lisa Nichols, Mark Victor Hanson, Les Brown, and over 350 corporate trainers and major law firms on faculty.  And now endorsed by me.  

I’m not a big conference fan.  Too many people, too many hidden agendas, too much competition.  But CEO Space did not have this theme.  There will always be people with hidden agendas, but CEO Space does not attract or endorse such behavior. 

The week is comprised of training described as “super teaching”  which delivers teaching from the best and brightest of teachers and trainers.  It is networking that accomplishes more in an hour than you’ve accomplished before in a day.  It is friendships, business relationships and partnerships that develop quickly and easily as you learn to ask for what you really need and are offered tangible ways to get those needs met.  

Once you’re a member of CEO Space you are a member for life.  I can attend any and all of the five meetings held every year for the rest of my life.  And I’ll return for the inspiration, training, collaboration, partnerships, business and investment opportunities and renewal for my spirit.  

I’ve learned to always begin a conversation with, “how can I help you today?”  And by giving my best, I receive the same from others.  Contact me for more information about how I can help you.  I'd also love to talk with you about CEO Space and your ability to be more effective, productive and successful.

Check out this SlideShare presentation

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A Video I created on leading well: every day

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The Words of A Leader - for this Independence Day and always

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You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.  You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.  You cannot help the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer.  You cannot further the brotherhood of man by encouraging class hatred.  You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.  You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than you earn.   You cannot build character and courage by taking away man's initiative and independence.  You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.  Abraham Lincoln

Do you lead from strength, courage, integrity and insight?  If so, continue on. 

If not so much, reread what was written well over 100 years ago.  It's no less relevant, no less true, no less important now than it was then.  

Behavior matters.  Make your behavior matter in a way that matters to you.  And even, dare I say it:  change the world.  Happy 4th.

STRATEGY: Making the Leap from Corporate to Entrepreneurship - Part 3 of 3

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This final blog in a 3 part series is about strategy.  Every day you should think about the overall strategy for building your business.  It’s not magic and it’s no secret:  hard work, focused effort, discipline, and a burning desire to create something you can see clearly, those are the beginning stages of your strategy.  The first article was about PEOPLE, the second about PROFITABILITY and now STRATEGY.

 Give the following some thought:

Q:  When is the time to transition?  A:  When you’re willing to live with the consequences of your decision. If you are considering transitioning while working at your current job, remember, part-time is tough! How much can you work if you are also working for someone else? And if you’re working after hours, will you be able to serve your clients when it’s a convenient time for you AND them?  If you have a product, will you be available to speak with your customers and ship items in a timely manner?

Being an effective and successful entrepreneur requires you to be completely present and listening and responding on multiple levels.  If you stretch yourself too thin, you may not succeed. Strategy is about having a plan that you’re prepared to implement and then live with the outcomes. 

To summarize, leap when you’re ready to leap with joy and abandon. Business is a risk – but success comes from risk that is calculated and well planned.  Be prepared for success by knowing what it will take for you to be successful.

ACTION ITEM:  What will I do today to develop my strategy for succeeding in my existing business or building a new one?  What people will I connect with to advance my goals?  Do I need a coach to play my best business game?